And sound like you know what you’re talking about.

Many of us have Martini dreams. It feels like a cool, chic, sophisticated drink to say is your signature. Like a trench coat, or a fringe. But ordering one can be super intimidating. It comes with a subset of questions that, if you don’t know the lingo, can make you feel a little hot under the collar, and leave you with a (not inexpensive) drink that you might find undrinkable. No aspiring Martini drinker deserves such a fate, so we’re here to break down everything you need to know to help you order one loud, proud and confident you’ll look as suave as James Bond identifying his mark while sipping out of that elegant V-shaped glassware.

What exactly is a Martini?

The key characteristics of a Martini are cold and boozy. It’s a simple drink with no filler: gin or vodka, vermouth and a garnish. Other “Martinis” are usually fruity or sweet and not the kind of thing you need specifics to order. A few you’ll find in this category are French Martinis (made with a raspberry liqueur, pineapple juice and vodka – tart and mellow), Espresso Martinis (vodka, espresso and a coffee liqueur – sweet and strong), and Pornstar Martinis (made with passionfruit, vanilla vodka and Champagne – fruity and cheeky). James Bond, or rather Ian Fleming, is famous for the Vesper Martini. In Casino Royale, published in 1953, the secret agent protagonist orders “Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel.” It’s named for Bond’s love interest in the book. Order any of these fancy variations without fear – your bartender will know what to do.

Vodka or gin?

While a Martini is traditionally made with gin, there is no wrong answer here. It’s all down to preference. Gin and vodka are both distilled in the same way, but gin has botanicals added to it after so it has a more layered, herby or floral taste, while vodka stays very pure. As this makes up the majority of the drink, think about which you prefer the taste of and go with that. Both classic Gin Martinis and Vodka Martinis have their rightful place.

Wet or dry?

Aren’t all drinks wet? Well, in the standard sense, yes. But when it comes to Martinis, how “wet” or “dry” it is depends on the vermouth. A moment for vermouth – it’s the one absolute staple of a Martini. Vermouth is a fortified wine that is flavoured with botanicals and spices. There are two types, dry (white) and sweet (red). For most Martinis, you want the first kind. A dry Martini is made with less vermouth, allowing the spirit to be the most prominent flavour, while a wet Martini is made with a higher ratio of vermouth to spirit. An extra dry Martini is in vogue at the moment, which sees bartenders include just a miniscule amount of vermouth, or perhaps swirling the vermouth in the glass to coat it before tipping it out. A “perfect” Martini, means a 1:1 ratio of spirit to vermouth.

Why would I want a dirty drink?

Don’t panic, ‘dirty’ here refers to olive brine, not that the glassware hasn’t been cleaned. The dirtier the Martini, the more brine is added to the mix. It makes the drink more salty and bitter, and you can ask for your drink to be dirty, or even extra dirty. Cocktail bars have taken the term to the extreme in recent times. Don’t be surprised if you see a Filthy Martini on the specials board. At the other end of the spectrum, a Sweet Martini can be made by switching dry white vermouth for the sweet red kind.

Shaken or stirred?

James Bond would have you believe it’s sacrilege for a spoon to touch a Martini, but most bartenders would disagree. Technically, a booze-forward cocktail should be stirred to deliver a silky mouthfeel and clarity. When it’s shaken with ice it will be colder, but likely more diluted and cloudy. If you don’t specify, your bartender will most likely stir, but there’s nothing wrong with asking it to be shaken like a maraca. It may also depend on how you’re having it. A Dirty Gin Martini makes sense stirred, but a Dry Vodka Martini with a twist can be shaken to make it extra icy cold. In other extreme variations to know about, a “Naked” Martini is just freezing cold gin on its lonesome, poured into a glass also pulled from the freezer. Add an olive and it’s done. The extreme coldness dulls the alcohol taste, making for a smoother drink. Though with only one ingredient, does it truly count as a cocktail?

Do I want ice with that?

We’ve talked about the ice to stir with, now the ice to serve. Traditionally, a Martini is delivered “straight up” or sans ice. So even though it’s stirred with ice, it’s strained into the final glass. If you prefer a different approach, you could have it “neat” – which means room temperature – or “on the rocks” – which means it’s poured over fresh ice so it will stay cold, but dilute as the ice melts.

What's the right garnish?

This will depend on what you’ve ordered because the garnish on a Martini should showcase a feature of the drink. The most common example is an olive with a Dirty Martini – either in the glass or on a toothpick. A twist (a peel of lemon rind twisted) will bring out the clean, citrus or botanical notes, and goes well with a wetter Martini. A gin Martini served with a cocktail onion is called a Gibson. Don’t be afraid to ask your bartender for their recommendation, or for extra olives if you fancy a snack with your drink.