NOW EXPERIENCING:5 drinks for your workaholic Capricorn mate
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5 drinks for your workaholic Capricorn mate

Read time 3 Mins

Posted 22 Dec 2022

By
Lulu Morris

An illustration of the capricorn star sign with two glasses

Capricorn season is upon us. Look busy.

Folks, we’ve reached the end of the calendar year (thank goodness), which means it’s time for the worker-bee of the zodiac fam to have their moment in the sun. That’s right – it’s Capricorn season. The Leslie Knopes and Spocks of the zodiac – all work and very little play. Sorry, Capricorn, but it's true. We all know they’d prefer to get ahead of the work curb and avoid a birthday altogether, but they’re not allowed. So, we’ve lined up a few gifts to lure even the most desk-chained Capricorn out from their office. 

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1. All about drive

Trying to stop a Capricorn from working is like trying to push a camel through the eye of a needle. It cannot be done. If they want something, by golly, they're going to work their little butts off ’til they get it. Exploring the very bottom of the Mariana Trench? No problem. Winning an Oscar? Easy. Travelling to outer space? Whatever. They are driven by ambition, hard work and (like the rest of us) money. So, if you want to get an apt present for your Capricorn mate, it should reflect what they value most. That’s why Scotch is the way to go. Not only is the price right, but the persistence, hard work and attention to detail that goes into every bottle of Scotch, particularly Bunnahabhain Stiuireadair Single Malt Scotch Whisky, is sure to make your Cap mate feel seen and maybe even a little emotional (a rare sight). Although it hails from Scotland’s Islay region, it’s not as peaty as most from the area. Notes of honey-roasted nuts, cinnamon, clove and a touch of sea salt make this the perfect dram.

2. Dry as a bone

A Capricorn may have their whole life planned out just minutes after being expelled from the womb, but do you know what they don’t have? A sense of humour. Those peeps are as dry as a Sao biscuit. The only laugh you’ll get from a Capricorn is at their expense. But tread carefully, folks. If they get even an inkling that you’re making fun of them, prepare for one hell of a sulk. So, to complement their seemingly non-existent sense of humour, we recommend a bottle of Gaia Monograph Assyrtiko. This is serious wine, full-bodied, with some nice citrusy notes, and best of all – it’s as dry as your Capricorn mate’s funny bone. But a word to the wise: don’t let them in on the joke, or you'll have yourself a crabby Capricorn.

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3. Living in a material world

The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees – Capricorn wants the money. Capricorns work for two things: success and the marker of success, money. The more money they make, the more boujee stuff they own, the more successful they feel. This means you can’t rock up to their house with a sub-par bevvy. It needs to be high-end and it needs to look expensive. That’s why the Last Word cocktail is perfect. Not only is it delicious to look at, with its beautiful green hue, but it also takes some effort to perfect – which, as we know, a Capricorn froths. Make it with the Prohibition Liquor Co. Gin Carafe for a swanky, lavender twist. 

4. It’s hip to be a square

Yes, Capricorns can be a wet blanket and have the sense of humour of a bucket, but they can also be super prepared and very responsible. Say you’re travelling around Europe and find yourself lost in the back alleys of some remote Italian village, unable to get your bearings. Guess who’ll have a map and a way out? Your Capricorn mate. Or maybe you’ve eaten something rotten and your stomach is letting you know it. Guess who’s armed and ready with antacids to ease your pain? That’s right, your Capricorn mate. So, on a night out, it makes sense that your Capricorn will be the responsible one and order a few rounds of Heaps Normal Quiet XPA for the crew between your usual tray of schooners. However, because it is Capricorn season, you have to return the favour, so we suggest bringing a slab of Heaps Normal Quiet XPA to your Capricorn's birthday gathering to sip between beers. 

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5. Ain’t no school like the old school

Yeah, Capricorns are a tad conservative with their taste (they like what they like), but embracing tradition isn’t a bad thing. They respect history and even love creating new traditions – you can count on them to rally the troops for the annual Friendsmas celebration. When it comes to traditional drinks, they will study every element of it. They will know how it's made, how you should drink it, where to store it, and what glassware it needs to be served in… the whole shebang. So if you want to start a Capricorn off on their next obsession, bring over a bottle of Konishi Kokuagari Junmai Sake. Konishi is one of the oldest sake brewers in Japan (founded in 1550!) and is still run by the same family today. A Capricorn will love learning about the history and sharing it with friends and fam.
Shop related products
BunnahabhainStiuireadair Whisky 700mL
Stiuireadair Whisky 700mL
$105.99 each
 
GaiaMonograph Assyrtiko
Monograph Assyrtiko
$42.99 each
 
Prohibition Liquor Co.Gin Carafe 700mL
Gin Carafe 700mL
$104.99 each
 
Heaps NormalQuiet XPA Cans 375mL
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Quiet XPA Cans 375mL
Member Offer
$61 case (24)Non-Member: $67.99 case (24)
 
KonishiKokuagari Junmai Sake 720mL
Kokuagari Junmai Sake 720mL
Member Offer
$25 per bottle Non-Member: $30.99 Each
 
image credits: Jae Jun Kim
Authour image
Lulu MorrisLulu is a writer at Dan Murphy’s who loves Pina Coladas, but hates getting caught in the rain.
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Hit ListSpiritsSakeFun pairingsGinBeerWhisk(e)yZero% (non-alc)Wine
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