Because you’re gonna be judging them anyway, right?
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Love is in the air, and so is the sound of clinking glasses. But here’s a thought – what if the drink your valentine sips could reveal more about them than their Spotify Wrapped? Forget their zodiac sign; this year, we’re decoding the heart throbs and romantics in your life one drink at a time (astrology lovers, please don’t come for us).
Whether you’re on a first date, blind date or date night with the already bolted-on love of your life, we’ve matched their drink of choice to their lover’s archetype. If gifts are your love language and you’ve forgotten to pick up a little something for your valentine, then just call us cupid. Using this as your guide, all you need to do is a little Uno Reverse. Big personality? Easy – an on-trend liqueur. Eclectic music collection? That calls for an Aussie gin.
So, grab your drinks and Happy Valentine's Day (to those who celebrate).
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1. G&T: The cool and collected connoisseur
“Four Pillars Rare Dry Gin, tonic and an orange twist, please”. Here’s someone who oozes style; a proper tastemaker. Their record collection is older than your parents, and they have a sense of understated confidence that is so sharp it could cut through ice. Everything about them seems so effortless, from the conversation right down to the perfect gin-to-tonic ratio (yes, they know it by heart).
Pro tip: Compliment their choice of garnish. Trust us, it matters.
2. Rosé: The effortlessly chic romantic
You meet up with them in an impossibly cute inner-city park you must have walked past a thousand times but never noticed. They’ve already laid out the picnic spread, complete with photogenic citrus wedges, very expensive anchovies and a crisp French rosé – something like Gerard Bertrand Cotes De Roses. Congrats, you’re with someone who embodies the “Soft Life”. Sun-drenched afternoons, golden-hour selfies and an unmatched “I woke up like this” aura are their MO. They don’t just drink rosé; they are rosé.
Perfect match? Someone who can appreciate their curated, pastel-hued world. Extra points if you bring snacks and leave hand-scrawled Rupi Kaur poems on their bedside table
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3. Bourbon, neat: The bold, mysterious type
Enter the enigma. With a neat drop of Basil Hayden Kentucky Bourbon, they’re here to intrigue. No mixers, no frills – just a strong aroma of confidence and a hint of delicious mystery. They see life as an endless storybook, and you’ve just opened to a particularly juicy chapter. What lies ahead? Probably midnight road trips and existential debates over pancakes.
Just be ready: They play for keeps, not small talk.
4. Limoncello Spritz: The perpetual optimist
With a Limoncello Spritz in hand, made with the delicious Italian Limoncello di Capri, this sunshine enthusiast radiates joy. This person thrives on good vibes, group selfies and spontaneous dance parties – heightened by their bubbly personality (to match the fizz in their glass). A conversation with them feels like stepping into full-blown technicolor after a black-and-white film.
Side effects of dating them? Relentless positivity and infectious laughter. Brace yourself.
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5. Kiwi sparkling: The social butterfly
Is that a novel-length list of mutuals and a flute topped with Mumm Marlborough Brut Prestige in their hand? It appears you’ve snagged a social butterfly. The kind of person who knows every bartender in town, whose laugh cuts through a busy room like a perfectly timed beat-drop. Adventure? They’re already five steps ahead, planning your next trip. Life with them feels like a Friday night, even on a Monday. Even on the couch.
Warning: You’ll need to keep up with their energy levels. Hydrate accordingly.
6. Premix: The chill legend
Cracking a Hard Rated Lemon Mango Zero Sugar on a date is a pretty bold move, but one that belies an air of laid-back, authentic charm nonetheless. If this is your date, expect to discover the ultimate lowkey pal. They’ll go from beach day to binge-watching trash reality TV without missing a beat. Hiking shoes or woolly Uggs – they wear either impossibly well.
Hot tip: Be yourself. It’s all they care about.
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7. Champagne: The classic romantic
Found yourself sitting at the best seat in the house alongside a cooler of Piper-Heidsieck Champagne? You’ve landed a real keeper. Think candlelit dinners, whispered secrets and enough class to carry a debate about anything from clever cultural analysis to caviar spoons. They’re into life’s finer things, but there’s substance to spare behind their impeccable style.
Best enjoyed with: a taste for the timeless. And maybe some oysters.
8. Zero% beer: The conscious casanova
Dry as your date’s beer of choice may be, rest assured, a Heaps Normal Half Day Hazy signals someone who’s a wellspring for mindful vibes. They’ve got kombucha in the fridge, own a yoga mat (and yes, they even use it) and radiate “first-to-try-a-trend” energy. You’re in the company of someone who cares about balance, self-care and probably the planet, too. With plenty of room for you, as well.
Verdict: Genuine, thoughtful and solid marriage material.
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