Meet the liqueur that thinks it’s Ireland’s answer to George Clooney and a beer that wants to be your golden retriever boyfriend.
The art of dating, mastered by some throughout history — Casanova, Elizabeth Taylor, Leo DiCaprio, Taylor Swift – and pure torture for others (most of us). The annual celebration of dating lands on Feb 14 with Valentine’s Day. Last year, we gave you the dating profiles of seven bottles, presented in a way those on the dating scene can really understand, complete with star signs and “About Me” answers.
This year, to help you prepare for the most romantic of days, we have five more eligible drinks eager to be your perfect match. No, none of these bottles are dog owners or have their driver’s licence, but neither can they give you the ick by using poor grammar in texts. We’ve applied our tried-and-tested dating profile algorithm to these five hopeful bottles to help you find the one.
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Eligible bottle 1
Name: Ghost Rock Cradle Pinot Gris
Hometown: Tasmania, Australia
Star sign: Taurus
What to know about me: On the outside, I might seem extraordinary, but I’m just living my life, the only way I know how – with superior freshness and flavours of fresh-cut pear.
My friends say: Particular and exact, and almost always right, which could be annoying, but everything they do is so damn good, you’ve got to love them.
Likes: A thorough spring clean, cold weather, and a brisk walk on the Cradle Coast with my very obedient beagle.
On the perfect date: I’d make you a three-course-dinner, you’d say, “This is the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten,” and I’d say, “I know.”
Who’d play me in a movie: Cillian Murphy
Eligible bottle 2
Name: Ukiyo Blossom Gin
Hometown: Kagoshima, Japan
Star sign: Aquarius
What to know about me: I live an ‘aesthetic’ lifestyle, but I’ve got substance, too. The lights, sights and energy of the city give me life, but my soul belongs to nature.
My friends say: You might think you’ve got them all figured out but they’re always surprising. Always up on the latest trends, hottest events and, you know, TikTok videos.
Likes: Ikibana, AI programming, cherry blossoms and meeting new people.
On the perfect date: You’d take the reins and plan something that fits exactly what I need and want at that moment – I’m looking for someone who likes to mix things up.
Who’d play me in a movie: An unknown newcomer who’s about to hit it big.
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Eligible bottle 3
Name: Baileys Espresso Creme Liqueur
Hometown: Ireland
Star sign: Aries
What to know about me: What’s life without a little indulgence?
My friends say: Very comfortable in their skin. Could talk underwater, to anyone. Definitely got some old-world swagger.
Likes: Newspapers, my barista, my barber, classic cars, Elvis.
On the perfect date: I’d pick you up at 10 and take you somewhere sexy for a nightcap under mood lighting.
Who’d play me in a movie: George Clooney, doing an Irish accent.
Eligible bottle 4
Name: Besserat De Bellefon Champagne Cuvee Rosé
Hometown: Champagne, France
Star sign: Pisces, but Libra rising and Sagittarius moon.
What to know about me: Yes, I’m bubbly, outgoing and full of joie de vivre, but I’m a big softie at heart when you get to know me.
My friends say: Effortlessly chic. A true extrovert, natural entertainer and over-achiever. Exactly the kind of energy you want at a party.
Likes: Mellow people, wild strawberries, big French Chateaus, the smell of a bakery.
On the perfect date: Dating is so passé. Let’s just both be at an event and see where the night takes us.
Who’d play me in a movie: Léa Seydoux
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Eligible bottle 5
Name: James Squire Ginger Beer
Hometown: New South Wales, Australia
Star sign: Leo
What to know about me: Outdoorsy, sporty… I built a log cabin with my bare hands.
My friends say: Think golden retriever energy
Likes: Grand final day, hugs, my mates, funny podcasts, my family… probably your family, just, everything. Everyone.
On the perfect date: I’d take you to the log cabin for a romantic fireside picnic – I do like to keep things spicy, after all.
Who’d play me in a movie: Chris Hemsworth
